Today was incredible.
And I don't say that because I'm a dramatic author, who fantasizes about days like today (because I totally am, and I totally do fantasize about days like today…)
When I first signed my contracts with HarperCollins, I felt like I was in a dream.
When I announced the book deals, I felt like I was in a dream.
When I saw my book covers, and revealed them, I felt like I was in a dream.
But today was different. It was real. And it all FELT very, very real. So real that I wanted to cry. It was the first moment, honestly, that I felt like a REAL writer. Not when I signed the contract. Not when I saw the cover, or shared it online, or got to hold the ARC of my book in my hands for the very first time. Those were great days.
But today was THE day.
I got to sign copies of both The Murder Complex and Balance Keepers#1, and I had an actual signing line. A real line, full of REAL readers!
There were 500 teens, packed into a room, and they were loud and crazy and they pushed and shoved, but most beautiful of all, they LOVED books. I mean really loved them.
I had so many teens who KNEW about The Murder Complex and Balance Keepers. I had so many people get upset when I ran out of ARCS, and I ran out fast! I had teens say, "NO I WANTED THAT BOOK!" And I apologized profusely, with a huge this isn't real smile on my face. I had a girl comment on how adorable my pet hedgehog Hedwig was, and I thought "YOU KNOW ABOUT MY PET HEDGEHOG?…wait…you know about ME?!"
And for the 45 minutes in sat in that chair, scribbling my name over and over in my own books, fragments of myself placed into pages, it was this moment where all the noise and the chaos disappeared, and it was my voice in my mind, saying over and over again, "this is real, Lindsay. You made it. You really, really made it."
As a writer, I often feel lonely and forgotten, and unimportant, when I'm sitting in my apartment with my pajamas on, writing away, with nothing but the sound of my fingers tapping the keyboard and the occasional bark from my dogs. It's a long wait to publication. I'm still not there, but I'm close. Like, next month close.
Today I was noticed, by people that thought I was someone, someone who did important things, and who made a difference in their lives.
I wanted to cry. I almost did.
Instead, I smiled and held it together and signed tons of copies, and passed out bookmarks and tshirts and smiled and soaked it all in.
Because it's only just the beginning.
And if this is only the beginning…..it's going to be a beautiful, wild ride. I'm so grateful. I'm so humbled and blessed and overwhelmed by the fact that this is my career. This is my life. God gave me a talent and a love for writing, and my agent noticed me, and she helped HarperCollins notice me, too.
To everyone involved in this journey….Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I couldn't be more grateful.
Today, I am the luckiest girl in the world.